5 weeks of no scolding. I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I still am. 5 WEEKS. I did not so much as raise my voice once. Every time she pushed my buttons, I tried to remember that she was not giving me a hard time, she was having a hard time. And I succeeded. So many times over those 5 weeks, a yell welled up to my throat but I managed to hold it in and whisper instead. And then it happened. The inevitable. It was just a matter of time. Both of us were having a terrible day on the same day. I was stressed and so was she. She pushed and pushed and pushed. I tried and tried and tried. And finally I gave in. I raised my voice. She kept pushing. I warned her. She pushed some more. And then I yelled. And while I yelled, I hated the sound of it. I hated the feeling. I hated the throbbing in my head. I hated the burn in my throat. I hated the look on her face. I hated the tears welling up in her eyes. I hated the way I felt and I hated the way I made her feel. But, I’m not giving up. E.V.E.R. I intend to start again and this time around I intend to do a better job of remembering that she’s not giving me a hard time. She is having a hard time.