me, Uncategorized

Losing It

I have been busy trying to lose weight for a while now.  I am now at an all time high of 68 kilos, not counting the 70 from my full-term pregnancy days.  My knees have been hurting constantly and I really can never sing “I feel pretty” without the voice in my head going, “Yeah! Right!”.

So, I decided to really go for it and get rid of the tiers.  Afterall, I get one shot at life, I ain’t getting any younger and the sooner I fix this whole mess I have gotten myself into, the longer I’ll get to feel good about myself. So, I started off with the standard dieting. For those lucky ducks who can eat whatever they want and still look like a sketch from a fashion illustration book, standard dieting is nothing but swinging like a pendulum between starvation and binging. It simply wasn’t working out for me. When I starved, I felt weak and low on energy. When I binged, I ran high on guilt, shame and sugar. It was terrible.

So, instead of trying to single-handedly starve myself to death,  I decided to take professional help.  I went to a friend-recommended dietician.  I followed her plan to the tee.  That means for two weeks, I ate exactly what she had allowed me; a little milk, vegetables, egg or beans or peas or sweet corn, fruit (apple/pear/pomegranate/melon/grapes ONLY), the disgusting Threptin biscuits, oats for dinner (which was extremely disorienting and made me feel like my day was all backwards), 6 almonds, 1 roti, green tea, 2 dates, 2 figs, 2 walnuts and yogurt.  Lots and lots of yogurt.  In fact I was looking for services online that might deliver yogurt in trucks.  Didn’t find any.  And by the way, please note that I haven’t left anything out. These are the only things I was allowed to eat.  No other fruits.  No potatoes.  No lentils. No grains. And I was okay.  I actually tried this for 2 weeks.  And then came mango season.  The whole city was smelling of mangoes.  Everywhere I went I was surrounded by mangoes. I saw, heard, felt, and thought mangoes. I did everything except eat them. But, I LOVE mangoes. So, I shot my dietician an email and she simply said, “No mangoes, please!”. So, I gave up the diet. I definitely would rather stay fat for the rest of my life than give up mangoes.

Out went diet and in came Zumba but honestly, that’s just not for me.  Don’t get me wrong. I loved it. It was fun. But, it is just way too much investment for practically nothing in return.  Just plain old aerobics takes up way too much time and effort and discipline (now, if I had that, I wouldn’t be here in the first place, would I?). Moreover, my problem knee was threatening to just fall off if I went for one more Zumba class.   Basically, what I am trying to tell you here is that I am a great gal with lots of patience and persistence but my knee, shamelessly and selfishly blackmailed me into quitting, if that makes sense.  Actually that is a fact even if it doesn’t make sense.

Then there was the fasting-twice-a-week regimen where I ended up feeling weak and dizzy. So, that wasn’t for me either. And then, one fine day, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Mr. M found a program online which was doable, sustainable and made an awful lot of sense. He had stumbled upon the pot of gold and we decided to dig in together. So here we are 2.5 weeks later, armed with our body weights, barbell and kettle bell, feeling great, eating reasonably healthy and right on track with our weight loss goals. For the first time I am feeling confident about being able to reach my target weight by April next. So, when I go dress shopping for our wedding anniversary next year, I hope to be able to walk into any store, pick up any dress and look beautiful in it (fingers crossed ;))

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