India, me

Who, me?

Can’t believe it’s been two weeks already!!!  That must mean that I have dissociative personality disorder popularly known as multiple personality disorder.  Wait a second.  I know old habits die hard and you are compelled to wonder how on earth our having been here 2 weeks could possibly mean that I have MPD, but what I don’t understand is why you start wondering even before you have given me a chance to explain.  Don’t strain your brain my friend!  As usual, I have a convoluted yet simple, twisted yet logical explanation for it.

But before I get into that let’s revisit the chapter on ‘properties of time’.  Just so we are all on the same page.  Everybody who’s ever spent any time on this planet knows that time is a weird guy.  Very inconsistent and quite sadistic, if I may add.  He moves at snail’s pace, stopping to enjoy a drink, have some fun, bask in the sun when we are miserable and want him to just get out of our face and be on his way.  And, when we are actually having some fun (it is possible…sometimes), when we want him to slow down and take his own sweet time, hang out a little with us, live and let live, he whizzes right past blowing a raspberry in our face.  So, in a nutshell, time flies when we’re having fun.  Agreed?  Good!

Now, coming back to the issue at hand, the connection is not between ‘2 weeks’ and MPD.  It is actually between “Can’t believe…already!!!” and MPD.  My opening statement (which has, btw, taken this post in a very different direction than what I intended it to go in), makes it sound like time has flown the past couple of weeks.  And now (for those of you with short-term memory loss, refer to para 2, line 4) we all know that time does that only when we’re having fun.  Which means I must have been having fun the past couple of weeks.  But, I have no memory of any such thing.  When it comes to having had any fun, my memory bank is blank, empty, and deafeningly loud and noisy (because empty vessels make the most noise ;)).  So, I have had fun but I haven’t had fun.  So, it must be my other personality that had all the fun while I was left to deal with the pushy man at RF; the heavy machinery roaring all night long, drilling for oil or water or whatever the hell they were drilling for right outside our bedroom window;  the cranky, rude, kaamchor housekeeper; the book store manager at school who couldn’t believe that some parents could be unreasonable enough to expect receipt of books and stationary once they have paid for it; the U.S. returned, well dressed, well-educated mother who has absolutely no qualms about jumping the queue; and last but not the least, the man at the mall who walked right through us like we were invisible.



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