I do realize that it is getting kind of repetitive and lately, most of my posts have started with a “it’s been a long time”, but it really has been a long time. I just got back from a 2 week trip to India and before Ka and I got back, Mr. M had to leave on a 1 1/2 week-long business trip to Redmond. So, here I am, on my 30th birthday, up since 12:30 a.m. with a splitting migraine (that even a couple of extra strength Excedrin have not been able to fix) , in tears, not knowing what to do about the pain, missing Mr. M so much that it feels like a ‘migraine in my heart’ as well. Thanks to the pain and the generous amounts of caffeine in the Excedrin that I just swallowed, I know that I’m not going to be able to go back to sleep anytime soon. So, I have been sitting here for the past couple of hours, evaluating my life, my relationships and getting very philosophical. Here are a few things I have come to realize (some based on my experiences in India this time; more on that later):
- Relationships work a lot better on a one-on-one basis. You do not have to feel obligated to screw your relationship with, let’s say, A just because B (whom you love very very much) doesn’t get along with A.
- Do not compare yourself with others. Like I always tell Ka. Don’t worry if you score better or worse than your friend. Just do your best. You need to live up to your standards and expectations, not to someone else’s. Same applies to relationships, jobs, money, love and everything else. The second you put yourself up against another human being, it’s about time you got that T-shirt made which says “I AM A RAT” and has a huge rat on an exercise wheel, sweating away to glory and not getting anywhere worthwhile. Yes my friend! You are now officially in the rat race…
- The reason most parents yell at their kids is because they care too much. Love works in mysterious ways. Yes! Yelling doesn’t help, but that seems to be one of the ways most parents know to show that they care. I am pretty sure kids don’t look at it that way (coz I don’t when my parents yell at me), but I think it’s true. For instance, I lose it every time I see Ka’s pencil grip which, for the record, used to be perfect until about a little more than a year ago when she decided to copy a friend whose pencil grip was, let’s just say, not so perfect. Now I worry that when she grows up and will have to write a lot more than she does now, she will develop wrist pain and her fingers will hurt. Since I have been dealing with wrist pain for a while now (from holding my knitting needles too tight), I know how it feels and am scared that Ka will end up with it too. Result? Lose it every time I see her hold her pencil the ‘wrong’ way! So, parents yell at you not because you are wrong, but because they love you to “infinity and beyond”!
- Reading between the lines is never a smart thing to do (unless you are reading something positive and pleasant that will make you feel more loved and as a result, a happier person). With the not-so-positive stuff, chances are you won’t get it right most of the time, and it will lead to misunderstandings, ruin relationships, and make you feel sad 😦 So, try to look on the bright side of life, put a positive spin on everything. Afterall, there is’nt much to lose in being happy.
- Stay out of family politics. Take all gossip with a pinch of salt. Don’t believe anything that anybody says completely. There is no such thing as getting to the root of things or finding the truth because ‘truth’ does not exist. Only perspectives do. Naseeruddin Shah (or whoever wrote the dialogues) in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara was onto something when he said, “Sach kya hai? Bas apna apna version hai sach ka!” (What is truth? Everyone only has their own version of the truth).
- It is never worth it to hang on to the past. LET IT GO! Just let it all go.
- And last but, certainly not by any means, the least, Chennai airport is by far the worst airport I have been through (more on that later). Note to self: NEVER EVER in this lifetime or any other (i.e., if there are more) travel through Chennai airport.