Classification of Homo Sapiens

There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Type 1: those who can fall asleep in less than 15 seconds (that would be Mr. M); Type 2: those who cannot sleep even if their life depended on it (my mum); Type 3: those who can go to sleep alright but if disturbed, wake up possessed by a type 2 (that’s me).

Now, this is the story of my life. I am a type 3 married to a type 1 who does not appreciate the fact that he is married to a type 3. Unfortunately for me, Mr. M loves to watch things move. So, when it’s dark outside and he cannot see anything move out there, he would just settle for the idiot box. Nope! We do not have a TV but with internet, it’s not very different. In fact, in many ways, it’s worse.

Don’t get me wrong though. I have nothing against this dear man obsessively watching images of people and things move inside of a box. The problem is that sometimes those moving objects do certain things that amuse him. Once amused, he cannot hear himself laugh because of the earphones (which are meant to help me stay asleep). So, he laughs and I toss. After about half an hour of tossing and turning at a distance of less than 20 inches away from him, he finally senses my displeasure. He, being the reasonable man that he is, switches off the laptop almost immediately, apologizes for waking me and before he has finished saying ‘sorry’,  he’s snoring. Come to think of it, I never know if he’s actually saying sorry or if that is just his own personal, very cool, style of snoring which I misinterpret.  Anyway, now he’s fast asleep and I am wide awake. At 2 in the night. I am mad at him. I do everything in my power to wake him so he can have the pleasure and honour of keeping me company. I eventually succeed. He says, “Think calming thoughts and try to sleep. Otherwise you’ll feel screwed up all day.” Really?! That’s quite an insight huh? I had no idea!! Anyway, after about 3 hours, I finally manage to fall asleep. Lucky me huh? Except that I live in a haunted house (reference:Paranormal activity) and needless to say, Mr. M’s prophecy comes true. My day is royally screwed. I swear to myself the second I open my eyes in the morning that I will have my revenge. Someday. At least that’s what I hope…


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