From what I have learnt over the past 4 and a 1/2 years, true inner peace comes in two flavours. One when something wonderful happens and the other when something awful ends. Seems pretty obvious huh? Now I might sound like an idiot, but it wasn’t all that obvious to me until a few days back. A few days back, something happened and I started to think. I know there’s nothing new about that. But this time something came out of it. I learnt something about myself. Don’t ask me what b’coz I don’t have a clue!! And if at this point you are nearly in tears feeling sorry for that poor man who married me almost 7 years ago, go ahead and shed those tears. It is totally worth it and I am with you all the way.
Coming back to the ‘something’ that happened, a few days back I was cooking and it suddenly dawned upon me that I was actually liking it. Now, hate is a strong word but I am still going to go ahead and use it. I hate cooking!! But on this particular day I was actually kind of liking it. And then suddenly I realised that I was at peace. I had to find out why and almost instinctively I knew I would find the answer if I peeked into my daughter’s room. I saw father and daughter snuggled up together in her little kiddie bed reading a book.
And that minute I knew that my life was beautiful. Way more beautiful that I believed it to be. I had found my answer. I was at peace because for once I wasn’t tripping on pencils and crayons in the kitchen. For once my recipes and the likes weren’t falling off my fridge door because somebody decided to steal all my magnets to make pretend coffee. For once my life wasn’t filled with noise from netflix or youtube. For once there wasn’t a voice, already starting to complain about the food even before I was done with the cooking.
I knew then that this was as peaceful as my life will ever get. Kind of like the feeling I get when I return home after dropping these two loves of my life at school and work. Like a refugee returning home after the war has ended and peace has returned.