Today I learnt what pain is. The kind that made me wish that someone had ripped my heart out instead. My little girl was hurt today. Nothing big. Just an ‘owiee’ that kids get all the time. She fell from the bed and bumped her head hard enough to need two stitches. Most important lesson learnt: ‘monkey jumping on the bed’ song means nothing to kids. So, getting back to the point, I had to take her to the hospital and they stitched her up under local anaesthesia. Agreed that she would have felt no pain after the anaesthesia but she cried and screamed and writhed nevertheless more out of fear than pain and my heart bled. I felt helpless about not being able to do anything to ease her anxiety and pain and fear. I felt like I was less than I should be.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not the kind of mommy who wouldn’t let my daughter take any risks. In fact I think all the little owiees in life will just make my girl better prepared to face the world. And strangely enough, my daughter has always been the most cautious child I have ever seen. It broke my heart to think that the first time in her life that she actually acted like a child, she was punished in a rather painful way. I just wish she would get over this fear soon and be a child again.